Parents say funny things

Each edition of Family Times we like to share all the funny things that your kids say. This time, we thought we’d turn the tables, trawl the internet and talk about all the funny things parents say.

Here’s a snapshot!

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
Erma Bombeck

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.”
Ed Asner

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”
Franklin P. Adams

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
David Frost

“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”
Erma Bombeck

“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed.”
Eat Pray Love screenplay

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
Lane Olinghouse

“I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job.”
Roseanne Barr

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”
Leo Burke

Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids.
Sam Levenson

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
Milton Berle

“How I managed to keep you alive, but kill every houseplant I have ever owned, is beyond me.” Unknown

“Silence is golden, unless you have kids. Then it is just suspicious.”
Unknown

“The sole purpose of middle name is so that a child can tell when he’s really in trouble.”
Unknown

I child-proofed my house, but they still get in.”
Unknown