Kids say the funniest things

kids-say-the-funniest-thingsJust when you’re not expecting it, kids say the funniest things. Here are a few wee tidbits to tickle your funny bone.

Ice queen
“C’mon Elsa! Get it together!” My almost 3-year-old said this to her doll who kept falling over.

Role play
I sat down with my 3-year-old daughter who was playing at her dollhouse. I asked her which doll I could be and she replied, “The one that does the dishes.”

Mr Independent
Dropped my son off at preschool and he says, “Have a good weekend, Mum,” as he leave the car. Clearly he has plans that don’t include me.

Move over Simon Cowell
My 3-year-old son saw Nick Jonas singing on TV and said, “He doesn’t have any friends, does he?”

Old-school dissin’
I told my kids that we are no longer saying “shut-up” because it sounds mean and can hurt people’s feelings. So my kids are getting creative with their use of words. My 9-year-old daughter was talking and talking, and my 6-year-old son couldn’t take it anymore and said, “SILENCE YOU PEASANT!”

Little Miss Trust Fund
When my child came home from school on the bus, I paused the work conference call I was on to ask her how her day was. She responded, “Shhh, go back to work. I have a list of things I want you to buy me with the money you’re making.” She’s five.

Confident much…?
My cousin’s daughter’s response to “I love you,” was “I love me too” for the longest time.

Grumpy about greens
I was on the phone with my wife discussing dinner plans and my 7-year-old informed us that “salad is ruining my life.”

Dark destroyer
I gave my son a timeout from swords, light sabres, guns and (Thor) hammers due to him being too violent/aggressive. After about 10 minutes of quiet, I went to check on him and found him building with his Lego. After I told him that I was proud of him for listening, I asked him what he was building. He told me he was building an ultimate Lego weapon so that he could destroy me. I think he may have missed the point, but at least he’s persistent.

Priorities
My 4-year-old asked me if we could get a kitten, to which I replied that I’m allergic and that a cat and I cannot be in the same house together. “You could sleep outside,” he said.

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