Kids say the funniest things

Just when you’re not expecting it, kids say the funniest things. Here are a few wee tidbits to tickle your funny bone.

“Hey Mum, this Scottish tape isn’t sticky. Do we have any Irish tape?” Erik, age 5.

“Do they look after the Pokemon?” City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.

“There’s no one in there.” – 6-year-old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.

“Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I’m a hypocrite?” – 7-year-old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.

“Daddy, did your hair slip?” – 3-year-old son, to his bald but long-bearded father.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it’s printed on the bottom.” – 3-year-old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens.

“How will that help?” – Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom.

“Tell me when you’re asleep, okay?” – 7-year-old son, overheard talking to his 5-year-old brother.

“Mommy, you said it would be a shot; instead it was a needle!” — Boy, overheard at the hospital.

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email.” – 4-year-old girl, misquoting the Lord’s Prayer.

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “62.” He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

I was putting on my makeup in the car when my 5-year-old daughter got impatient.
“Come on, you don’t need makeup!” I thought it was a sweet thing to say until she said: “You’re fine ugly.”

My 7-year-old daughter when we told her we are expecting twins: “You don’t need two. Can’t you send one of them back?”

Check out more parenting articles: www.familytimes.co.nz/goals-setting-child-success.