Keys to building effective family communication

Communicate frequently
One of the most difficult challenges facing families today is finding time to spend together, especially in meaningful conversation.  Find creative ways to converse.  Talk in the car; turn the TV off and eat dinner together; schedule informal or formal family meetings to talk about important issues that affect your family; and talk with your children at bedtime.

Communicate clearly and directly
Healthy families communicate their thoughts and feelings in a clear and direct manner. Indirect and vague communication will not only fail to resolve problems, but will also contribute to a lack of intimacy and emotional bonding between family members.

Be an active listener
An essential aspect of effective communication is listening to what others are saying. Try your best to understand the point of view of the other person, and pay close attention to their verbal and non-verbal messages. Clarify if you don’t understand the other family member. Active listening involves acknowledging and respecting the other person’s point of view.

Honesty
In order for effective communication to take place within families, individual family members must be open and honest with one another. Parents, especially, are responsible for providing a safe environment that allows family members to openly express their thoughts and feelings.

Communicate at the right level
When communicating with young children, it is important for adults to listen carefully to what the children are saying without making unwarranted assumptions. It is also important to take into consideration the ages and maturity levels of children. Parents cannot communicate with children in the same way that they communicate with their spouse because the child may not be old enough to understand.

Body language
Pay close attention to the non-verbal behaviours of other family members. For example, a spouse or child may say something verbally, but their facial expressions or body language may tell you something completely different.

Be positive
Even while dealing with negative problems, communication should be positive. Marital and family researchers have discovered that unhappy family relationships are often the result of negative communication patterns (e.g., criticism, contempt, defensiveness). It is very important for family members to verbally compliment and encourage one another.