Children’s sexual behaviour – a guide for parents
Some sexual behaviour in children is natural and healthy. Some however is an indication of distress and disturbance.
Professional research suggests anywhere between 40-85 per cent of children will engage in at least some sexual behaviours before the age of 13. How then can we tell what is okay and what is of cause for concern?
This brief overview sets out the difference between the features of what is normal, and what is problematic. This is not meant to alarm parents but to provide useful professional information. As the old adage goes, “knowledge is power”.
Research shows that what is classified as normal sexual exploration during childhood is an information gathering exercise wherein children explore each other’s bodies by looking and some touching. Usually it diminishes when parents or adults intervene.
The children are of a similar age, size, and developmental status and participate on a voluntary basis. Similar age siblings may engage in this behaviour but usually it is within the context of school or whanau friendships. The sexual behaviours are limited in type and frequency and are balanced by curiosity in lots of areas of the child’s life. It is usually quite light-hearted and spontaneous and may result in embarrassment rather than leaving children with feelings such as anger, fear, shame or anxiety.
Individual differences exist as with any behaviours and their interest in, or level of comfort with, sex and sexuality can range from a lot to none at all. Research suggests that things including family stress, family violence, family sexuality, the neighbourhood environment, internet usage, social, cultural, and religious norms, values and attitudes all affect the level of interest and comfort children have in sexual matters.
What is normal behaviour for a pre-schooler may be atypical for an older child and vice versa, and what may be tolerated in one culture may be discouraged in another. It is important to note that child sexuality is considered fundamentally different from adult sexual behaviour, which is more goal-driven.
Problematic children’s sexual behaviour can create high levels of parental anxiety and may require professional consultation and intervention. The presence of more problematic behaviour does not indicate that a child has been sexually abused but it does raise concerns that need exploration. It could indicate that children have observed sexualised behaviour amongst adults or adolescents in person, or online, or in more adult TV or movies, or behaviour linking sex and violence or force, or are confused at overly sexualised images.
Experiences of abuse and/or neglect affect development and thus can lead to problematic behaviour of any kind including what we call “problematic sexual behaviour in children”.
This might involve: an excessive interest, persistence, or compulsivity in sexual behaviours that does not diminish in spite of clear and consistent messages to stop; involvement of peers or siblings or family members who are of a very different age, size, or developmental status.
The frequency, type and intrusiveness of the behaviour may be well beyond what we might assume to be age appropriate. There may be coercion, force, bribery, manipulation, tricks or threats associated with the sexual behaviour or it may be directed toward hurting someone, as if it is being used as a weapon, or an act of revenge. Any of these elements naturally raise concern and would more than likely indicate a need to seek qualified, professional help with someone who specialises in child sexuality or child sexual abuse. This is particularly so where force is used, or the intent to hurt is prominent.
Although the term sexual is used, the intentions and motivations for these behaviours may or may not be related to more adult type notions. The behaviours can and may be related to curiosity, anxiety, imitation, attention-seeking, self-calming, or other reasons.
It is important to note that the majority of children who are sexually abused do not develop problematic or abusive sexual behaviours toward others. There are many things that influence the development of aggressive, or sexually abusive, child sexual behaviour, and there is good news even in the face of problems.
Available evidence suggests that children with sexual behaviour problems have a very low risk to commit future sexually harmful acts, especially if provided with appropriate treatment. It is important that children displaying problems in this area of child and human development are provided with clear, consistent, and caring boundaries, support, and intervention.
This could involve closer supervision and monitoring.
What can parents do?
• Learning more about this area assists parents and educators to respond confidently rather than to fear sexual behaviour, to “freak out” or to isolate or ostracise a child.
• You could request your school or early childhood centre hold an educational evening for parents to educate what is healthy and normal, what is not, how to judge, and what to do about it. This could be done at a time that schools are doing other Keep Safe or sexuality-oriented education.
• Seek out other resources online.
• Do not overreact as most sexual behaviours in children are within the typical or expected range.
• Most children will stop the behaviour if they are told the rules, mildly restricted, well supervised, and praised for appropriate behaviour.
• It is extremely important to remember that children with problematic sexual behaviour are significantly different from adolescents with sexually harmful behaviour who are different again from adults who have sexually offended against children.
• In the event of problem sexual behaviour in children or for other information, support and consultation please contact the children’s programmes at the following agencies closest to where you live: SAFE (Auckland), WellStop (Wellington) and STOP in Christchurch.
This information is provided by Martin Putt, clinical team leader of the SAFE youth programme in Auckland.
Early childhood teachers – to be qualified or not?
Changes to the Early Childhood Education (ECE) budget mean there is less incentive for ECE centres to employ more than 80 per cent qualified staff.
The Government announced in its budget on 20 May that the higher funding rate to centres with more than 80 per cent qualified teachers would be cut. The change to funding qualified teachers would save $295.3m over four years.
The move could hit parents in the pocket, with estimates of a price increase between $25 to $42 per week from ECE providers that increase their rates to cover the loss.
The ECE sector has largely decried the cuts. The primary teachers union, which includes early childhood teachers, said the move threatened to “dumb down” early education.
The cuts have once again flared the debate over whether early education should be predominantly the domain of qualified teachers, or whether other organisations without qualified teachers should be equally recognised and funded.
NZ Childcare Association chief executive Nancy Bell said that research showed the cornerstone of quality in early childhood was the presence of qualified teachers.
“It makes no sense to create greater barriers to enrolment or to reduce quality. There is robust evidence that investment in quality early childhood education brings a high return, in economic as well as educational terms, yet New Zealand only invests 0.6 per cent of its GDP in ECE, significantly less than the OECD average of 0.9%.
“Removing the top bands will destroy the ability of services to employ qualified teachers.”
New Zealand Educational Institute Te Riu Roa vice president Judith Nowotarski said the incentive for early childhood services to strive for quality by employing qualified and registered staff had been removed.
“Early childhood education has taken one of the biggest hits in the budget and the realisation of how drastic the cuts are and what they will mean is just starting to sink in.
“In the end families and children will be the losers – whether it be through lack of quality, increased fees or the burden of having to fundraise to make up for a budget shortfall”.
However, PORSE In-Home Childcare managing director Jenny Yule described the budget’s shifted focus as a “giant step forward”. It highlighted to parents that teaching qualifications were not the only measure when considering care and education for their preschoolers.
“Neuro-scientific evidence proves that relationships and experiences in the first few years of life shape our futures. This means it’s vital that child care comes from people who will love our children to bits regardless of their teaching qualifications. It also conveys the message back to parents that they too can parent successfully without needing to hold a formal qualification,” she said.
A researcher for the New Zealand Council for Educational Research published an article in 2004, which stated that “staff who have specialised early childhood education training and more years of formal education, provide more stimulating, warm and supportive interactions that benefit children.” The article also stated that training also weeded out people who were unsuitable for teaching.
We want to know what you think: is it important for ECE teachers to be qualified, or are there other considerations that are equally important? Email us at zn.oc1328346819.semi1328346819tylim1328346819af@ni1328346819mda1328346819 or post your thoughts to us at Family Times, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch.
Internet safety and handy websites for families
Love them or hate them, computers are part of our children’s present and future world and can be used as a learning and entertainment tool.
The Internet is also a community of people, so it’s important to minimise the risks and make rules to keep your child safe.
I decided to do a Google search on safe educational and game sites for kids.
I found that many sites said they were safe, but then up popped an advert. One such site for kids’ dress up games had an advert for weight loss, pointing out what you should look like. Great; let’s encourage our kids to become anorexic.
I believe it is best to avoid sites that encourage your child to provide details or photos of themselves. My children are not allowed to use chat rooms, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, blogs, or sign up to memberships and mailing lists without my knowledge. They are also not allowed to buy anything online. You can’t see who is receiving the information and sometimes there is fine print saying “if you sign up to this, you are then agreeing for us to send your contact details onto advertisers,” i.e, anyone.
Also, a lot of sites advertise learning and games, but they are not all free.
If you would like some help with keeping your kids internet savvy and safe, visit the following website for some helpful information on Internet safety.
Net Safe www.netsafe.org.nz
NZ Internet safety web site
NetSafe is an independent, non-profit organisation that promotes confident, safe, and responsible use of cyberspace by educating and supporting individuals, organisations, and industry on a range of cybersafety issues.
Parental Guidance www.parentalguidance.org
Internet filter software
Watch Dog www.watchdog.net.nz
Family-safe internet provider with filtered Internet access for families, schools, and businesses in New Zealand.
NetSmartz® www.NetSmartz.org
NetSmartz is an American interactive, educational safety resource that uses age-appropriate, 3D activities to teach children how to stay safer on the Internet.
Use software tools
You can get software to block your computer from accessing specific kinds of web sites or certain subjects e.g. Netnanny at www.netnanny.com. Your Internet service provider also may be able to offer you filtering or blocking programs.
Keep in mind that filtering software varies, so read the description carefully to determine if the programme meets your needs. Information about the effectiveness of different filtering programmes is available from consumer rating services and other resources.
Remember too, filtering isn’t foolproof, so it’s still important for your family to talk about the fact that not everything on the Internet meets the values that you set for yourselves.
Communicate the acceptable websites to visit and make computer time a whole family activity
One option is to put the computer in your living room, den, or some other place where you can see what each other is doing online. Explain that not all places on the Internet are designed for younger users. Look for appropriate sites to visit.
Make sure you go to Google’s preferences and change the SafeSearch filtering to “use strict filtering”.
Set rules for chat-room chatter
If you allow your children to use chat rooms, teach them to treat strangers in a chat room just like they would treat them on the street. Since a chat room is open to everyone, it’s not a good place for anyone to provide their real name, phone number, address, financial information, or other personal information that they wouldn’t want strangers to see.
• See if the chat room is monitored by whoever operates it and whether any steps are taken to remove people for inappropriate behaviour.
• Don’t to rely on what other people say or even who they claim to be since it may not be true.
• Never agree to a face-to-face meeting with someone you only know through a chat room.
• Don’t use online aliases that reveal your real name, age, or address. For example, a 10-year-old girl named Jane Smith should not choose an online identity like: "Jane10," SmithAuckland or "JaneSmith”.
If your child does need to login into a site, look for a site that states that it will send a confirmation to you the parent and read its privacy policy.
By Helen Pulford, midwife and childbirth educator, owner of:
www.babywebnz.org directory for pregnancy, childbirth and parenting web sites.
www.birthresources.org childbirth education resources.
Safe educational and game websites for kids
You can search out directory websites that specify safe sites for kids, but it is still best to check kids’ websites out yourself.
After all, you can’t possible know the qualifications of the site’s staff or the guidelines they use. The site may say that all links have been visited and are considered “kid friendly”, but how do you know it’s true?
You can err on the safe side and stick to entertainment sites from television shows that you already know and trust their content, for example www.whatnow.tv or www.thewiggles.com.au.
Also look at well-known brands such as Disney – home.disney.com.au – and Nickelodeon TV www.nick.com, www.nicknz.co.nz, www.nickelodeon.tv and www2.warnerbros.com.
Some other handy websites are listed on the parenting section (under entertainment) at www.babywebnz.org are below. However, the author does not control the content or accuracy of these websites.
The Ministry of Education – www.minedu.govt.nz – has educational websites for children as follows:
• For primary and intermediate students: Wicked on TKI www.tki.org.nz/r/wick_ed.
• All ages: Any questions homework website, questions online answered by librarians 1-6pm. www.anyquestions.co.nz.
You may also be interested in the Hector’s World online safety tool, launched by the Department of Community and Voluntary Sector, in 2007. The Hector’s World tool is a friendly on-screen cartoon character, which acts as a button that children can click if they see something upsetting while surfing the net. Clicking on the button immediately brings up a friendly Hector’s World screensaver and encourages the user to go and tell an adult.
Hector’s World is found at www.hectorsworld.com
By Helen Pulford, midwife and childbirth educator, owner of:
www.babywebnz.org – directory for pregnancy, childbirth and parenting web sites.
www.birthresources.org – childbirth education resources.
Helping kids cope with cliques
Your 10-year-old daughter comes home crying because the girls she’s been friends with are suddenly leaving her out and spreading rumours about her. She’s confused because it seemed to happen out of the blue. She doesn’t know what she did wrong and is nervous about returning to school, unsure if she has any friends.
Given how prevalent cliques are throughout middle and high school, at some point your child is likely to face the prospect of being in one or being excluded from them. There’s little you can do to shield kids from cliques, but plenty you can do to help them maintain confidence and self-respect while negotiating cliques and understanding what true friendship is all about.
What’s a clique?
Friendship is an important part of kids’ development. Having friends helps them be independent beyond the family and prepares them for the mutual, trusting relationships we hope they’ll establish as adults.
Groups of friends are different from cliques in some important ways. Friendships grow out of shared interests, sports, activities, classes, neighbourhoods, or even family connections. In groups of friends, members are free to socialise and hang out with others outside the group without worrying about being cast out. They may not do everything together — and that’s okay.
To continue reading this article, visit the link below.
Reviewed by: Michelle New, PhD
© 1995-2010. The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth®. Reprinted with permission. View full article at http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/cliques.html#.
How to entertain children on a road trip
Family road trips are a great and often inexpensive way to spend vacation time with your children. However, they can also be immensely aggravating for the entire family when your children start to get bored and restless. As an avid road warrior and a parent of three young children, I’ve been through numerous ups-and-downs while travelling by car. As a result, I’ve mentally developed a lot of “lessons learned” when it comes to hitting the highway. Here are a few of my tips for helping parents and kids survive – and enjoy – a great road trip.
1. Break up longer trips into small sections. If you can limit your time on the road to 5-6 hours a day, you can save yourself a lot of stress. Getting to your first stop will also give you and your children some time for play and relaxation. Many children can’t sit in a car for hours on end, then go straight to bed in a strange hotel room. So try to stop before you are too tired, so that everyone can relax and have fun before bedtime.
2. If you will be stopping for the night before your final destination, pack the bare minimum for a single night in a separate bag from your main luggage. This way, there’s less to carry into the hotel, and also less stuff to climb over while you’re in your room. When we travel, we pack a pair of pjs and a single change of clothes for each child and minimal toiletries (their toothbrushes are important to remember!) in a duffel bag. It’s much easier to deal with for a single overnight hotel stay than bringing in a large bag with our entire wardrobe for the trip.
3. If your children argue over a particular seat (or row of seats in the minivan), set up a schedule in advance so that everyone considers their time in the special seat to be equal and fair to everyone else’s time. It can save a lot of arguing over who sits where after each stop you make.
4. If there is more than one adult and extra room in the back, sit with your children for at least part of the trip. They may feel that they don’t get enough attention from mum and dad if you’re both in the front seat, having a conversation that doesn’t include them.
5. Stop at rest areas whenever possible, not just for a bathroom break, but also for snacks. If the weather is good, it’s also a great chance to let kids stretch their legs and get rid of the restless energy from sitting all day. Bring along a soccer ball or frisbee and let them play near a picnic area for a bit. It helps stretch cramped muscles, relieve stress through recreation, and simply breaks the monotony of being in the car.
6. Cultivate a knowledge of great road trip games. Some examples are looking for all the letters of the alphabet (in order!) on road signs, and looking for fun shapes in clouds. You can find a huge selection of car games for kids by doing a simple online search, and if you add one or two new game ideas to each trip, you’ll keep the selection fresh and more exciting for your kids.
7. Make a sing-along CD of the kids’ favourite songs, and have a family karaoke-style sing-along as you head down the road. Include age-appropriate CDs made for kids, but try and find some that you can enjoy too. One great line to consider is “Kidz Bop”, which features remakes of well-known pop songs with children singing along. We also have made a CD of songs that our family likes to “perform” on the Band Hero video games.
8. Get each child an age-appropriate activity book and pens/pencils/crayons. Colouring books are great for toddlers, older children may like multi-game books, and teenagers often enjoy crossword puzzles or Sudoku (at least, if they’re trapped in a car without a phone or game console)! With smaller children, it’s a good idea to limit their time with crayons and pencils though; don’t let them get so bored that they start drawing on the inside of your car!
9. Get a portable DVD player if your vehicle doesn’t already have one. Bring along a few of their favourites, but also pick up a new movie from the store or the local video rental place. You can also check out DVDs from many public libraries for free.
10. Pack low-sugar snacks to keep hunger at bay without causing a sugar rush and the inevitable crash. Small bags of baby carrots, apple slices, or air-popped popcorn ease a rumbling tummy. Healthy snacks are also important if your children tend to snack when they are bored rather than just hungry.
By Susan Petracco
Susan Petracco is an avid travel deal hunter, parent of three, and frequent family road warrior.
www.ezinearticles.com
zn.oc1328346819.semi1328346819tylim1328346819af@ro1328346819tide1328346819
What it means to be a dad – part three
Dads have some unique parenting challenges in today’s society. Last issue we gave some practical tips on being a dad in a nuclear family, and this issue we offer some practical tips for single dads.
There are lots of different ways to be a single dad. You might be a dad with sole responsibility for the children, a dad who sees your children some of the time or a dad who hardly sees your children at all. You might be a single dad through divorce or through death.
What you can do
If you are separated from your children’s mother, being a dad may be hard, but you are still their parent and there are some very important things that you can do for your children.
• Take care of your children when they are with you so they feel safe and secure by the way you look after them.
• Try not to let hurts or anger about your children’s mother spoil your relationship with your children. Particularly don’t have exchanges with your ex-partner at handover time or when you have been on the phone to your children. Parents fighting is one of the most damaging things that can happen for children and really distresses them. If you can’t work something positive out with your ex-partner, get some help for the sake of the children.
• Keep in touch with your children even if it is painful to have to keep saying goodbye after you see them. Your children need your love and care even though goodbyes are hard.
• Sometimes you might feel it would be easier for your children if you did not see them. If you are a caring father it will be good for them to see you, even if the comings and goings are difficult.
• Children will be hurt if you stay away because you are disappointed or angry about your money arrangements with your ex-partner. Whatever has been arranged by adults is not your children’s fault. They still need your love and care.
• Be positive (or don’t say anything) when you talk to the children about their mother. If you don’t do this they will be torn between the two of you and things will be much harder for them.
• If there are bitter court disputes and you are very upset, try not to weigh the children down with your feelings. None of it was their making. They need you to care about what they need. They are not old enough to worry about what you need. Talk to your friends and get adult support about your concerns regarding your ex-partner so you can be right with your children.
• When your children are with you let them share your life. Let them see that men can cook their food (it doesn’t have to be fancy) and take care of them. They will learn a lot about how to be a father by seeing what you do.
• Make the effort to learn to do things with your children.
• Children will get more out of just being with you than expensive presents and always going on exciting outings (although they may ask).
• Be on time for pick-ups and drop-offs. Be prepared to be flexible and to give and take when it comes to making arrangements about your children. As they grow and develop, their needs change and fixed arrangements don’t always work so well.
• Try not to send messages to your ex-partner through the children or ask them questions about their mother.
• Keep in touch with your children often. Phone and write and remember birthdays and special occasions. Contact them when there are important school events such as exams, or going for a job.
• It is okay to have different rules and ways of doing things at your house. Children can learn to understand that households operate differently.
• As children get older, give permission for them to choose to stay with their mother or at a friend’s place instead of staying with you. They need to know that it is okay with you so they don’t feel guilty.
• Try not to show that you are upset if your children’s mother gets another partner. In time you will both move on from your relationship with each other. You will always be your children’s father.
• All children have worries at some stage. Make it comfortable for children to talk to you and encourage them to share their worries as well as their successes.
• Parents have the right to separate from their partner but they still have the responsibility to be a parent. Children have the right to be cared for by both parents, even if you are not together.
By Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service, www.parenting.sa.gov.au.
Positive role models for your child
Children naturally look for role models to shape their attitudes and behaviours. As parents, it is important for us to make sure that they have plenty of positive role models.
There are enough negative role models surrounding our children – and much of the adult world can be negative, apathetic or mediocre. If we don’t actively focus on positive role models, then these other ones can dampen our children’s natural enthusiasm and optimism.
The first thing to remember about positive role models for your child is that – despite anecdotal evidence to the contrary – statistical studies demonstrate that the overwhelming majority of children consider their own parents to be their most important role models. This is true not only for young children but even teenagers. So the most important thing we can focus on as parents is to be great, positive role models ourselves.
- Show your child that you actively work on a positive attitude
- Let your child see you setting and achieving goals
- Talk to your child about your own positive role models
One thing to shy away from where role models are concerned is to be careful not to overtly criticise when your child has identified with certain role models himself, even if you have a problem with them. If your child looks up to an unsavoury pop star, your criticism could cause antagonism rather than learning. Instead, provide a balanced point of view by seeking out something positive to mention about the "hero" – for instance that he must have been very dedicated to his goals to reach his current status.
When you need to criticise, be as specific as you can and explain what you dislike about the person’s behaviour, rather than trying to label them as all bad.
More ways to expand the positive role models available to your child include:
- Help your child to find a role model who has excelled in a field in which your child has a talent or hobby
- Talk to your child about social issues and then show them real people – either local to your community, or in the news – who have worked to make a difference
- Introduce your child to people you think will be good role models, and talk about the admirable qualities of these people
- Together with your child, find role models from history and make a scrap book or collage about the ones that excite or interest your child the most
- When you see your child demonstrating a behaviour that he associates with a particular positive role model that you have talked about, praise him!
- Encourage your child to daydream, imagining himself in his hero’s shoes.
"No printed word, nor spoken plea can teach young minds what they should be. Not all the books on all the shelves – but what the teachers are themselves." –Rudyard Kipling
"It takes a village to raise a child." — Old African Proverb
By Cassie Martin
www.parentingarticlelibrary.com
Why millions of mums and mumpreneures share personal parenting stories online
You just caught your kid doing the most amazing thing.
On his way to school, he actually walked over to a sad looking kid and offered to carry his book bag. Who are you going to tell?
Or, your little girl is still throwing temper tantrums and she’s nine! Who are you going to tell?
Then, your little boy tells his big sister that she doesn’t need to worry about having babies when she gets older because the vet can “fix her just like he did Scruffy.” Who are you going to tell?
Your friends? Well, you could, but truth be told, your friends will allow you only so much time and space to brag about (or vent about) your children. How about telling your relatives? Yes, that’s a possibility. However, you know that any time you open the conversation up about what your kids are doing, you’re inviting advice. Well maybe not inviting it, but that’s what you get from relatives regardless.
As an alternative, more and more parents are turning to online “mummy communities” to share their stories, ask parenting questions and swap tips. The big sites like CafeMom and CircleofMoms (a Facebook app) get millions of mum visitors every month. Interestingly, these two sites are run by men. A recent Pew internet survey found that adult users have quadrupled in the last four years. It also found that parents are more inclined to post and share online than adults without children.
Why? It seems that mums enjoy the gratification of immediate connection with others of similar experience. It’s an antidote to a busy child-focused day. Mother of three Amanda Manning says, “When I’ve spent the day consumed with taking care of my children’s constant needs, it’s nice to connect with other adults and reflect on the day – sharing the challenges or funny moments that occurred. It also helps to read what other mums are experiencing. I need reassurance that I’m not the only one with challenging kids.”
Certainly connecting with other mums reduces the feeling of isolation that many stay-at-home-moms experience. It helps parents feel that they’re part of a community.
Sharing our stories is a basic human need. It completes the experience for us. And sites that allow parents to post magic moments caught on film or video are even more enticing. Many of us want the world to know how adorable our little one looks in his or her new outfit or to share the moment the camera captured as our kid kicked the winning ball into the goal. It’s a way to “record” the moment for posterity.
Additionally, some sites combine the best of sharing parenting stories while also giving mums an opportunity to promote their own home-based businesses.
Millions of mums every year look for a way to earn money while allowing them a flexible schedule to also stay home and raise their children. Many of these mums start their own business by seeing and filling a need they have encountered themselves as a busy parent.
But, promoting that new business is always a challenge. Getting the word out to other mums via blog sites and social networking is a great way to reach a captive audience. If a “mummy blog” gives them a chance to promote their product or service for free, with a website link to their site, all the better. Some of these sites also have a “mum recommended” section that invites mumpreneures to submit their products for the opportunity of being featured.
In the end, time spent in online communities and social networks should never replace time spent with one’s children. However, when our kids are napping or in school, it can be a satisfying way to share our everyday parenting stories and build a positive support system.
By Victoria Loveland-Coen
www.parentingarticlelibrary.com
Choosing the right toy for a young child
Picking out toys for young children is no simple task. There are so many choices that it can easily be overwhelming. It’s important to consider options that are appropriate for the child’s age. It’s also important to know the individual child’s likes and dislikes.
Toy textures
Children thrive on all sorts of stimulation. Colours, sounds and even textures can keep them occupied for hours, as well as keep them thinking and growing mentally. However, it’s important to choose soft-textured toys for young children. Always avoid any toy that has sharp pieces or any scratch parts that could irritate a child’s skin.
Noisy toys
Small children can easily become afraid of loud toys. Some sound is a good thing to help stimulate children. However, it’s important that the sounds be fun and friendly, not loud and scary. If the child that you are buying for is not your child, you should also keep in mind that there are other people in the child’s house.
Parents may not be appreciative of loud, repetitive toys and pets may also be afraid of them. If you’re going to get a child a toy that makes noise, you should be sure that the noise is pleasant for children. You should also check to see that the toy has an on/off switch or some sort of volume control.
Little pieces:
Many people are aware that small children like to chew on things, especially when they are teething. Therefore, it’s important not to buy them small toys that they could easily swallow. However, you should also be aware that larger toys can contain smaller pieces. Things like glass teddy bear eyes, for instance, do have the potential to possibly become loose. Be aware of that when choosing toys for little ones.
Easy cleaning:
Parents of young children tend to be fairly aware of germs. Young children, after all, tend to be fairly quick to catch colds and whatever else is going around.
Let’s face it; both kids and their toys are going to get dirty. It’s a fact of life. A child may spit up on their favourite toy, get food on it, drop it in the mud, or do who knows what to it. Maybe the child decided to take their favourite toy to day care only for parents to discover that half the day care kids were out with the flu. In cases such as those, parents will want to keep a toy as clean and disinfected as possible.
Due to all of those reasons, it’s important to consider what materials a toy is made of before you but it for a small child.
Explore your options:
In short, good toys for young children should be fun and entertaining, not scary and obnoxious. They should also be safe and easy to clean.
Consider certain well-known manufacturers as a starting point. Fisher Price, Little Tikes, and Playskool toys, for instance, are great for young kids. However, there are many other choices out there, so be sure to explore all of your toy options.
By Dana Sanders
www.parentingarticlelibrary.com
Some sexual behaviour in children is natural and healthy. Some however is an indication of distress and disturbance. 
