Safety secrets
Empowering your child to take care of him or herself is one of the most powerful safety secrets we can offer.
Empowerment means you teach them to make choices – good choices – for themselves. When you mentor them as a parent you actually guide them into learning to make good, positive choices for themselves on their own. When they can do this, they will truly be safe for a lifetime.
If your child never gets to decide much of anything for themselves, even at the youngest of ages, how do you think they could learn to choose the better action of whether to get in a car with someone they barely know for a ride home, or to go find a trusted adult?
In its simplest form, empowerment means your child feels like they have a measure of control over their life. They feel they can make their own decisions. Most kids don’t feel this ability. Most kids do not have it, either. Parents and adults are constantly making decisions for children:
When to eat
What to eat
When to get up
When to go to sleep
Where to go
Who to go with
What to do
The list can go on endlessly. Life for a child can feel completely out of their control. Kids will engage in a struggle with their parents to get some control of their lives. In doing so it usually comes across as conflict.
No! I don’t want to go!
I don’t like that!
I’m not eating that!
Stop it!
I don’t want to!
Leave me alone!
The secret to empowering your children, even at the youngest of ages, is in giving them their own choices to make. Give them alternatives to situations in their lives; let them make some of their own choices.
This too, can be pretty simple. For example, instead of serving them broccoli, ask them to choose between carrots, peas or broccoli or another vegetable. Give them a choice to make instead of just putting one on their plate. Instead of the green dress, ask your daughter which one she would like to wear. Instead of forcing your child into the brown shoes, ask them which ones they would like to put on today.
These are pretty simple examples, but this is about as easy as it gets in empowering your child. Giving your children choices is crucial in their development. It is crucial in their ability to keep themselves safe, too.
Making choices matters to kids. When you do this simple, easy thing, miracles will happen within them. An empowered child starts to feel good about him- or herself. And what would consistent, good feelings about themselves lead to?
Confidence!
Will your child always make good choices for him- or herself? No. That is where you, mum and dad, come into the picture. You, as a mentor to your child, can guide them through the array of choices they will face. You can guide them and teach them about good choices and the benefits of making good choices for themselves. It is what safe kids are all about.
By Joyce Jackson – a child safety expert, bestselling author, consultant, speaker and trainer.
Handy websites for health issues
The Internet is now the biggest worldwide information resource. There is so much information on it, the problem is how do you find what is relative to you as a parent in New Zealand?
As well as talking to health professionals you can use the Internet to find information on health conditions, agencies and groups. This is a summary of services offered from some popular health sites.
New Zealand Health Information service
Has a large list of health-related links
http://www.nzhis.govt.nz/moh.nsf/indexns/links
MedSafe
Information on medicines and medical devices in New Zealand
http://www.medsafe.govt.nz
Starship Children’s Health
Starship has a large web site with child health information. Look on the family information service and kids’ health pages on www.starship.org.nz.
Family Information Service can help you to access information on your child’s medical condition or disability and, if you wish, put you in touch with parent and community support groups.
Kidshealth is an online resource if you want to search independently for child and youth health information. Kidshealth is a joint initiative between the Starship Foundation and the Paediatric Society of New Zealand. www.kidshealth.org.nz
The site includes important information such as keeping children well, medical conditions and helping families through many health complexities such as disability, education and accessing welfare assistance.
Everybody Health Conditions
The site has a list of health articles about an illness or health condition. Everybody also provides information about staying well, tests and treatments, and the New Zealand health scene.
www.everybody.co.nz
Plunket
Plunket is New Zealand’s leading provider of Well Child and family health services. It also offers Plunketline – a toll free telephone support service staffed by specially trained Plunket nurses, available to respond to caregivers’ concerns on child health and parenting. Callers are referred to specialist services where applicable. Staffed seven days a week. You can call PlunketLine on 0800 933 922. www.plunket.org.nz
NZORD
The New Zealand Organisation for Rare Disorders provides quality information about rare conditions, has a comprehensive directory of more than 160 New Zealand support groups, and promotes policy discussion.
www.nzord.org.nz
TOXINZ
TOXINZ is an Internet database containing information regarding toxic compounds and the management of poisoned patients. TOXINZ First-aid – this is free to access by anyone. To search for first-aid information, type the name of the substance in the search box above and click ‘Search’ www.toxinz.com
By Helen Pulford
Sleep deprivation affects nutritional well-being
Sleep is essential to good health, yet most families at some stage are affected by lack of sleep. Whether it is getting up to feed babies that are breastfeeding, teething or sick, or waking to check on teenagers who are late home from a night out with friends, sleep can be broken.
For some families this is a regular occurrence. Sometimes one parent is a shift worker and regularly comes home in the morning as everyone else is getting ready to leave.
Whatever the reason, studies have shown that a chronic lack of sleep can have a big impact on nutrition and health. Here are some findings:
Weight gain
Hormone levels are affected by lack of sleep. Ghrelin (the hormone that makes us feel hungry) increases while leptin (the hormone that tells our brain we are full) decreases when sleep is lost.
Researchers investigated the effect of sleep duration on obesity, intelligence and behaviour in 519 New Zealand children, from when they were born to the age of seven. Results showed a significant association between being overweight or obese and sleeping for less than nine hours per night. This association was not explained by TV watching or physical activity. On average, children who slept for less than nine hours also had 3.34 per cent higher body fat.
Blood cholesterol levels can increase
People who work through the night have been found to have significantly higher levels of the bad fats in the blood (e.g. triglycerides and LDL cholesterol), and lower levels of the good fats (i.e. HDLs) than day workers. This can be because of snacking on takeaways or confectionery in order to stay awake or to fight boredom. This increases the risk of heart disease, hypertension and diabetes.
Physical activity declines
It’s hard to remain motivated to exercise when you have been up half the night or are sleep deprived. You tend to want to conserve energy which can contribute to weight gain and depression.
Dietary fibre declines
If you have been working all night and then come home to bed all you want to do is sleep, so often breakfast is skipped and the chance to have wholegrain breads or cereals can be missed. Evening family meals of meat and vegetables may become replaced with more highly processed takeaways and snacks.
A lack of dietary fibre is one of the reasons that places shift workers at a greater risk of bowel cancer and gastro-intestinal upsets.
Sleep improves brain function
Good quality, deep sleep allows the brain to rest which improves concentration and attention spans the next day. Mood is also tied to circadian rhythms of light and day. A lack of daylight can lead to depression, irritability, impatience and an inability to concentrate.
Sleep aids growth
The evidence that sleep deprivation affects growth hormones is controversial. However, most researchers agree that when children are sleeping then energy that normally funds exercise and activity can be redirected to growth and development.
Here are some tips to help
• Encourage all family members to sleep for eight hours or more each night.
• Support initiatives that keep everyone active, for example Push Play.
• Encourage everyone to eat breakfast.
• Bulk up meals with vegetables, breads, fruits and cereals.
• Try to establish regular meals and if someone is late home save them a meal or freeze it for another night.
• For more information visit our website www.leastening.com
• Local funding is now available for people who need to see a dietitian in the community so talk to your GP or call 03 355 7770.
By Lea Stening
Favouritism – tips to help parents
If you are concerned that you have a favourite child or seem to get on better with one of your children, there are some things you can do.
• Realise that you could be consciously or unconsciously comparing your children. Sometimes this can make you feel as though you love one child more because they are easier to parent, when in fact it is their behaviour that is different, not your love.
• Perhaps there was a favouritism issue in your own childhood. It may help to talk with a counsellor.
• Your tendency could be inherited from a previous generation – i.e. to favour boys, or the first born.
• Know that it’s not unusual to love each child differently, because they are different people and their needs are unique.
• Make a point of spending one-on-one time with the child/children you find more challenging.
• Treating your children fairly doesn’t mean you don’t treat them differently. Each child has different needs that will impact on how you divvy up your time.
• Talk with your partner about how you feel, and work together to make sure all of your children feel loved and a valuable part of the family.
Schools await National Standards feedback
Consultation over how primary and intermediate schools will report a child’s progress against new National Standards closes 3 July, and schools will soon learn the outcome.
The consultation was to gather feedback from the education sector, parents, families, and whanau about what kind of reporting would work best for schools.
The National Party campaigned on making changes to the way literacy and numeracy was measured in primary and intermediate schools, and its flagship National Standards will be implemented in 2010.
Education Minister Anne Tolley said National Standards would set clear expectations about what students should be able to achieve in literacy and numeracy.
“Parents want to know how well their children are doing and what they can expect when extra help is needed. This policy is about using existing assessment tools to provide feedback that supports student learning and teacher effectiveness.”
Ms Tolley said the consultation was also to establish who needed access to what information.
What would happen with the information schools reported worried Labour Party education spokesperson Chris Carter.
“Mrs Tolley’s half-hearted assertions that she is not planning to collect information in such a way as to allow league tables and individual student results to be published, is not only unconvincing, it does not even tally with the reality of New Zealand Official Information laws.”
The standards would allow schools to compare results, which could result in ranking schools on a league table.
“League tables, which are the inevitable result of centralised collection of national standards, will lead to further disparities and inequalities between our schools. Schools that are already struggling will be further undermined, teacher stress will rise and students will suffer as a result,” said Mr Carter.
Mr Carter believed funding could be tied to results in literacy and numeracy standards.
New Zealand Educational Institute national president Irene Cooper said in NZEI RouRou in 2007 that primary teachers and principals were concerned that the new system could result in stifled student learning. The policies could turn children off education because their schooling was reduced to sitting tests.
Ms Tolley said the Ministry of Education was working with small teams of literacy, numeracy and assessment experts to develop draft standards. “Students’ performance against these standards will be reported to parents in plain language.”
Eating healthily and in season
We use lots of seasonable vegetables in our meals. Generally half the evening meal will be vegetables. Not a plate full of boiled carrots and peas though – use the carbohydrate and vegetable portions of the meal to make the meat go a long way. Add extra vegetables to a family casserole and serve it in a ramekin with a cobbler topping, or in a pasty. Or wrap it in a flat bread or crust, fill the plate with some more inexpensive seasonal produce and you’ll not only extend your housekeeping money - you’ll improve your health.
We borrow culinary styles, techniques, flavour combinations and seasonings from some of the best and most exciting cuisines in the world so the dishes are interesting, fashionable and delicious, they are also affordable.
Fresh produce
The supermarket is rarely the best value place to buy meat and fresh produce. Find a local supplier for these items.
I can save $137.00 per year just buying my spuds from my greengrocer, not to mention the carrots, onions, apples, mandarins, lettuce, tomatoes, and bananas, etc, all of which are cheaper at the greengrocer.
Those hundreds of dollars will pay for more than a little fuel and time.
Meat
Simply compare the price of lean beef mince and boneless chicken breast in your supermarket with the price offered by a wholesale butcher.
Is the price on the sticker the only price? Many butchers will give a discount for bulk purchases. A bulk purchase could be anything upwards of 4kgs.
Go for quality over quantity. I don’t buy cheap nasty meat to save money. I buy the best we can afford even if it means we have less.
Do you know how to cook less expensive cuts of meat? Go to our website www.destitutegourmet.com and click on recipes, then click on beef and lamb and check out the various meat cuts.
If you are big meat consumers, consider buying a whole or half lamb or half a beef from your butcher. They’ll cut it into its respective portions, including making mince and sausages, along with chops, fillets, steaks and the rest. It’s a lot of meat but the price, when averaged out, is much cheaper than buying a bit each week. My local butcher charges roughly $6.50 per kg for beef and $8.99 per kg for a lamb.
Cooking
Learn to cook with pulses and legumes. Lentils, kidney beans, chickpeas and the like are very cheap and are one of the foods nutritionists recommend we eat more of, because they are an excellent source of protein, iron and fibre and contain no fat. We use these instead of or in addition to meat.
Pulses have been a staple for peasant cultures for generations and the cuisines that they developed are what we now eat in restaurants!
Those fabulous peasant cuisines – Mexican, Italian, French, Indian/Asian – use rice, pasta, pulses, grains, breads or noodles, which are all very cheap, and often high in fibre and low fat with loads of seasonal vegetables. Add a small amount of good protein to create really tasty meals.
The seasoning gives the dish its identity and is often the least expensive part – a teaspoon of spice only costs about 25 cents.
Instead of using eight sausages to feed four people, use three really good quality butcher’s sausages, veggies, plump creamy cannellini beans and tinned tomatoes and make a delicious and much healthier cassoulet-style meal, a French peasant dish good enough for guests. It’s not just cheap and delicious; it’s a really healthy way to eat.
Eat in season
It can be difficult to identify what is in season when you buy produce in the supermarket.
At your local fruit and vege shop it’s likely the most plentiful foods are the ones at the peak of their season and are therefore the cheapest and freshest.
Gradual changes to your household food culture are easy to introduce if you plan ahead. Swap beef burgers for bean burgers or bean nachos instead of mince. It’s not just cheaper it’s healthier!
By Destitute Gourmet
You are more than “just a mum”
Becoming a mother can be like being on a roller-coaster, with many ups, downs and bumps along the way.
Parenting provides little respite. Mums often discover time for themselves becomes lost in the unending responsibilities of parenthood. We find ourselves immersed in our numerous roles and many of us forget the importance of retaining our own identity and maintaining our health and well-being.
Here are some ways to help you rediscover your identity and get your life back:
Self-care
It’s important to fit your own “oxygen mask” first. Make self-care one of your top priorities. When you look after yourself, it’s easier to manage everything else. It’s when we stop taking care of ourselves that things often fall over or break down.
Time for you
Prioritising and planning without guilt are keys to retaining your identity and well-being. Schedule “me” time first, then add your other roles and priorities.
Taking time out each day, no matter how big or small, to enjoy your favourite activity can make a huge difference to how you feel and cope.
Boundaries
Establish strong, healthy boundaries around family life and time for you. If necessary, learn to say “no” without guilt or explanation. Avoid thinking “I should…” or “I have to…”.
Support systems
Establish a strong support network of friends, family or work colleagues – learn to ask for and accept assistance. Delegate tasks or household chores, providing you with support and freeing up your time and energy. Consider employing additional support e.g. a life coach, cleaner, gardener, or babysitter (or arrange a babysitting swap with other parents).
Realistic expectations
Avoid comparisons to other parents who appear to have and do it all. There is no such thing as the “perfect” parent. Keep your expectations realistic, supporting a well-balanced life.
Celebrate who you are
Focus on and celebrate the little wins each day, rather than beating yourself up over what doesn’t get done.
Remember it’s important to take care of yourself as well as your family. You are more than “just a Mum” – Mums are people too.
By Karyn Riley
Karyn Riley helps mums and women in business rediscover their identity and get their life back. Karyn is a parenting and well-being specialist, author of the forthcoming book “How to keep the “U” in Mum: Practical Strategies to Rediscover your Identity and Transform your Life as a Parent”, life coach, inspirational speaker, writer and mother of two. www.rileylife.co.nz
Raising smokefree kids
Being a positive role model to your child is perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. Every new mum and dad would be familiar with the sensation of taking a look at themselves and wondering if they would cut the mustard as a parent.
Kids were like sponges and even when you thought your words were falling on deaf ears, your little one was busy soaking everything in said Health Sponsorship Council (HSC) manager Smokefree Marija Vidovich. It could be quite a humbling experience to realise that as a parent, you had a huge influence over your child.
That applied to good habits as well as those that were not so good. If you were a smoker, it could come as a shock to learn that your child was three times more likely to smoke than a child whose parents were non-smokers.
“Kids do what they see you do, so if they see a parent or sibling smoke, they are much more likely to smoke themselves as teenagers and adults,” said Ms Vidovich.
“It works the other way too, and kids with parents who disapprove of smoking are less likely to become smokers.”
Ms Vidovich said a study carried out in 2006 found that approximately 40 percent of adolescent smoking was due to parental smoking.
“Becoming a parent is a great time to take stock of some of your habits. You have the power to shape your child’s actions through your own.”
The HSC and Ministry of Health recently launched a smokefree education initiative called Face the Facts. The latest message looked at the link between parental and youth smoking.
“Having a parenting style which is warm, structured and gives your child the freedom to make some decisions for themselves has also been associated with lower rates of adolescent smoking,” Ms Vidovich said.
“So just remember that next time you reach for your cigarettes, there may be a pair of eyes watching and learning from you.”
Parents who would like to quit smoking can call freephone 0800 778 778 to speak to a Quitline advisor. The Quitline offers free telephone support, resources and low cost nicotine patches, gum and lozenges to New Zealand residents.
Get the most out of shopping
Members of Simple Savings, “the secrets to saving money in New Zealand”, sent in their money saving tips from all over the country to help like-minded people make the most out of their shopping.
These tips are from what’s known as their savings vault, which has more than 6100 money saving tips that work. For further information visit www.simplesavings.co.nz.
Buying in bulk
Where possible, buy in bulk. Do check that a large packet is actually cheaper than several smaller ones though. The economy size packs are sometimes more expensive per kilogramme. Check this with products such as cereal, milk, biscuits, ice cream and so on – you can make big savings this way. – Michael Greene
Comparison shopping
Compare prices of shelf items. Those at eye level are not usually the cheapest. Shops are paid a premium by the manufacturers to get their products placed there. Look above and below to check prices of other brands. When comparing, try to convert the prices to dollars per kilogramme. The actual price of many things is shocking when converted this way (for example, 100g for $1.99 works out to $20 per kg). Take a small calculator to help you work out the comparison. – Michael Greene
Raincheck items
If something is advertised in supermarkets as being on special, but has sold out at the time of your visit, you can actually get a raincheck on the product. You simply go to the service desk, and fill out a ticket for how many of the items you want, with a month to use the ticket. – Loretta Cross
Online shopping
I save money by doing my grocery shopping online. This way, I am not tempted to buy any little extras that catch my eye in the supermarket, plus I am not distracted by my baby son. I can keep track of my spending and can shop at whichever time is most convenient. If I go over my budget I just delete non-essential items to keep under it. I don’t mind the $4.95 delivery costs as the delivery guys even carry my purchases right up to my kitchen for me. – Leanne Lea
When to shop
If possible, try getting out to the shops between 9pm and midnight. You’ll find that most of the mark-downs occur during this time. I sometimes pick up cooked chickens for $2 at Woolworths, and bread for 99 cents. There are many more items reduced – juice, cakes, cheeses and fresh meats. Find out the trading hours for the supermarkets in your area. – Belinda Hunt
Reduced goods
Check the use-by dates and get a mark-down. When shopping, I always check the dates thoroughly. If there are only a few days left, I ask an assistant for a mark-down due to the time limit. More often than not I receive a few dollars off, depending on the item. I have saved more than 50 per cent on organic milk which I have bought for 99 cents and put in the freezer until required. – Carmen Johnson
Impulse shopping
The best way to save is to only buy what you need. Walking into a shop with only a vague idea is the quickest way of falling victim to impulse buying. Retailers know that most people buy from habit or on impulse and market their goods to help you decide. Do not feel weak or stupid falling victim to impulse buying; they are very good at getting you to decide to purchase this way. Make a shopping list so all your buying decisions are made at home, away from their influence. – Michael Greene
Sometimes the corner shop is cheaper
I do a major grocery shop each fortnight to save money. However, if I went to the supermarket for bread and milk in-between times, I would sometimes spend $30, because I would see bargains or specials and return home with more than I planned. Now when I need bread and milk, I go to the local dairy. It may cost a little more there for those items, but I end up saving a lot more, because I only buy what I came for, instead of browsing supermarket shelves for things I don’t need. – Jenny Larsen
Keeping preschoolers healthy and ready to learn
In September 2008 the Ministry of Health introduced the B4 School Check – a new nationwide health check for children turning four.
The check is free and helps to make sure your children are healthy and can learn well.
Benefits of the B4 School Check
The B4 School Check gives you an opportunity to discuss your children’s health and development with a registered nurse. It includes a check of children’s vision and hearing, teeth and gums, and height and weight.
If any concerns are identified, action can usually be taken early and the nurse can refer children to appropriate services before they start school. Referral could be to an educational specialist, GP, nurse, the dental service, or providers who can help with social or emotional needs.
Parents of four year olds
If your child has turned four and you have not received an invitation, visit www.moh.govt.nz to find your local B4 School team.
What the check covers
The B4 School Check usually takes about 45-60 minutes and includes:
- a child health questionnaire including oral health
- behavioural/developmental screening
- hearing and vision screening
- health promotion and education
- referrals (where required) to appropriate health, education or social services and follow up
- immunisation (if required) where possible
The check includes questionnaires that cover children’s speech and physical development, and behavioural development, including emotional and social strengths and difficulties.
More information
To learn more, you can:
- call the free 24-hour health advice service Healthline (0800 611 116), which includes a Well Child line that provides parenting advice and health education information.
By the Ministry of Education, www.teamup.co.nz.
Empowering your child to take care of him or herself is one of the most powerful safety secrets we can offer. 
