Talking to your child about alcohol and drugs

Alcohol and drugs are all around us. They can make people feel more confident, outgoing and happy. They are also a way in which people get out of it and escape stress and hassles. “So,” asks www.headspace.org.nz, “what’s the problem?” They answer the question tailoring it to the young, but it is relevant to people of all ages. “Using drugs and alcohol can lead to lots of problems for young people. They can lead to people messing up their relationships, having physical health problems, not coping with school or work and sometimes ongoing mental health problems.

“Alcohol and drugs interfere with a person’s perception of reality and ability to make good decisions. This can be particularly hazardous for kids and teens who have less problem-solving and decision-making experience.”

There are many organisations that inform children and adults about alcohol, drugs and their effects. One helpful resource is Get the Msg, a service of the New Zealand Drug Foundation. Simply text the name of the drug you want to know about to “DRUG” (3784). You will then receive a short factual health and safety message about that drug, as well as links to further information and help. The service recognises most slang names for drugs and the word “help”.

The Drug Foundation firmly believes that better knowledge and understanding about drugs is a key way New Zealand can reduce risks to individuals and the community. “Communication that is non-judgemental and factual helps minimise drug harms,” the foundation states.

So when should you begin talking to your children about drugs and alcohol?

Most health practitioners agree that it’s never too early to teach our children about the dangers of drugs.

The following extract from KidsHealth* outlines steps you can take long before your child is presented with alcohol or drugs to increase the chances that he or she will make good decisions in the future.

Preschoolers

Although three and four-year-olds won’t be ready to learn the facts about alcohol or other drugs, they can begin to develop the decision-making and problem-solving skills they will need later on. You can help them develop those skills in some simple ways.

It’s a good idea to allow your toddler to select his or her own clothing. Try not to worry if the choices don’t match. Instead, let your child know that you think he or she is capable of making good decisions. Encourage your child to perform age-appropriate tasks and let your child know what a big help he or she is.

It’s also important to provide a good example of the behaviour that you want your child to demonstrate. This is especially true in the preschool years when kids tend to imitate adults’ actions as a way of learning. So, by being active, eating healthy, and drinking responsibly, parents can help teach their children important lessons.

Ages 4 to 7

Kids in this stage still think and learn primarily by experience and they don’t have a good understanding of things that will happen in the future. Therefore, it’s a good idea to keep discussions about alcohol in the present tense and relate them to people and events that your child knows and understands.

Most children at this age are interested in how their bodies work, so this is a good time to talk about maintaining good health and avoiding substances that might harm the body. You may want to tell your child alcohol hurts your ability to see, hear, and walk down the pavement without tripping; it alters the way you feel; and it doesn’t let you judge as well to see whether the water is too deep or if there’s a car coming too close. And it gives you bad breath and a headache!

Ages 8 to 11

The later elementary school years are a crucial time in which you can influence your child’s decisions about alcohol use. Kids at this age tend to love to learn facts, especially strange ones, and they are eager to learn how things work and what sources of information are available to them. This is a good time to openly discuss facts about alcohol, the long- and short-term effects and consequences of using alcohol, the effects of alcohol on different parts of the body, and why it’s especially dangerous for growing bodies.

A child can also be heavily influenced by his or her friends at this age. A child’s interests may be determined by what a group of friends thinks. So this is a good time to teach your child to say "no" to peer pressure and stress and the importance of thinking and acting as an individual. Casual discussions about alcohol and friends can take place at the dinner table as part of your normal conversation: "I’ve been reading about young kids using alcohol. Do you ever hear about kids using alcohol or other drugs in your school?" When you ask these questions, it’s important to respond to your child’s answers in a way that’s not judgmental.

Ages 12 to 17

During the teen years, kids are more likely to engage in risky behaviours. Their increasing need for independence may make kids want to defy their parents’ wishes or instructions as a way of asserting their independence.

But if you make your child feel accepted and respected as an individual, you will increase the chances that your child will try to be open with you. Kids want to be liked and accepted by their peers, and they need a certain degree of privacy and trust. You can help show your teen that you respect him or her by avoiding discipline methods such as excessive lecturing and threats. By showing an interest and expressing concern for your child, you are showing your love and concern. Even if your child appears annoyed by your interest, he or she may still recognise that it is an important part of your parental role.

Risk factors

Children who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs. These kids may not believe that they can handle their problems and frustrations without taking something to make them feel better.

Children who lack a sense of connectedness with their families or who feel they are different in some way may also be at risk. Children who find it hard to believe in themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or other family members. In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other drugs.

*This information was provided by KidsHealth, one of the largest resources online for medically reviewed health information wrtiten for parents, kids and teens. For more articles like this one, visit KidsHealth.org of TeensHealth.org © 1995 – 2008. The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.

Parenting tips

Fortunately, there is a lot that parents can do to protect their children from using and abusing alcohol and drugs:

• Be a good role model. Consider how your use of alcohol or medications may influence your child.
• Educate yourself about alcohol and drugs so you can be a better teacher to your child.
• Try to be conscious of how you can help build your child’s self-esteem. For example, children are more likely to feel good about themselves if you emphasise their strengths and positively reinforce healthy behaviours.
• Teach your child to manage stress in healthy ways, such as by seeking help from a trusted adult or engaging in a favourite activity.

Teach your child to say “no”

Teach your child to ask questions. If an unknown substance is offered, your child can ask, "What is it?" or "Where did you get it?"

• Remind your child that he or she should leave a situation if he or she doesn’t feel comfortable with what’s going on
• Teach your child never to accept a ride from someone who has been drinking
• Encourage your child to say "no thanks" if he or she is offered alcohol or drugs. Give them permission to use you as an excuse: “My mum will kill me if I drink/take that!”
• Get to know your children’s friends, where they hang out and what they like to do
  Make friends with the parents of your children’s friends so you can reinforce each others’ efforts
• Encourage teens for all the things they do well and for the positive choices they make

Hot tips for 5 – 12 year olds

While most of what we impart to our children is unconscious, there are some tangible ways we can instil values in our children:

• If children want to take up an activity that you have to pay for, make it clear that they have to stick with it term by term. They can’t just give it up six weeks down the track when they’re fed up with early morning swimming lessons, piano practice, etc.
• Show respect for your children as they are. Ask for their input on family holiday plans or house improvements and help them learn to make choices and decisions. If they love doing paintings, get some framed and display them. Use simple courtesies like "please" and "thank you" when you speak to them.
• Teach young children about their bodies, and how to say "no" to wrong touching. Talk openly about sex with your children as they grow up, and also about alcohol and drugs.
• Have family rules – they teach children values and respect for themselves and others. Don’t allow them to deride you or each other or use abusive language. (For example, you could say: "I have too much respect for myself to listen to this.")
• In shops, teach preschoolers about having to pay before you take items. Give older children pocket money so they can learn about saving for things they want.
• Teach your child to voice their needs to other children. At the same time, teach them to hear when others express their needs when they are playing together. Teach children about sharing, but also appreciate this does not come naturally for them.
• Ensure your home is a welcoming place for your children to bring their friends to. Having friends apart from the family is important for a child’s development. But teach them how to say "no" to doing things they don’t want to do or know are wrong. Spend some time performing ‘what if’ role plays about all kinds of situations.
• Build up the family by doing things together – a work project like having a garage sale can be followed by a shared ‘reward’.
• Establish some enjoyable family traditions. For example, regular holidays together as a family. One family points out, "We like the idea of our kids looking back and remembering how, when they were young, they went to bed in their day clothes, all ready to set off at 3am."
• Decide on a joint family project to help others in need: a trip to the supermarket to choose grocery items for the foodbank; sponsor a child or project in a third world country;
• volunteer as a family to collect for IHC.
• Keep in contact with elderly family members and you will teach children to respect the
• elderly; regularly visit an elderly person in a retirement home with your children.
• Teach acceptance of different cultural ways by reaching out to new immigrants in your neighbourhood or school. Offer to act as a ‘homestay family’ for a cultural exchange student.

Teach children how to use spare time productively so they can have a sense of accomplishment in what they have achieved. Watch a television programme, such as Shortland Street, with your children and talk about the issues raised. Encourage them to look at the advertising they see and question: How honest is it? What values is it trying to sell?

Reprinted courtesy of Parents Inc – a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to making life better for parents and their children. For more information visit www.parentsinc.co.nz

Get the most out of shopping

Adopt savvy supermarket shopping tips and you’ll save money.

Members of Simple Savings, ‘The secrets to saving money in New Zealand’, sent in their money saving tips from all over the country to help like-minded people make the most out of their shopping. These tips are from what’s known as their savings vault, which has over 6,100 money saving tips that work. For further information visit www.simplesavings.co.nz.

Buying in bulk

Where possible, buy in bulk. Do check that a large packet is actually cheaper than several smaller ones though. The economy size packs are sometimes more expensive per kg. Check this with products such as cereal, milk, biscuits, ice cream and so on – you can make big savings this way. – Michael Greene

Comparison shopping

Compare prices of shelf items. Those at eye level are not usually the cheapest. Shops are paid a premium by the manufacturers to get their products placed there. Look above and below to check prices of other brands. When comparing, try to convert the prices to dollars per kilo. The actual price of many things is shocking when converted this way (for example, 100g for $1.99 works out to $20 per kg). Take a small calculator to help you work out the comparison. – Michael Greene

Raincheck items

If something is advertised in supermarkets as being on special, but has sold out at the time of your visit, you can actually get a raincheck on the product. You simply go to the service desk, and fill out a ticket for how many of the items you want, with a month to use the ticket. – Loretta Cross

Online shopping

I save money by doing my grocery shopping online. This way, I am not tempted to buy any little extras that catch my eye in the supermarket, plus I am not distracted by my baby son. I can keep track of my spending and can shop at whichever time is most convenient. If I go over my budget I just delete non-essential items to keep under it. I don’t mind the $4.95 delivery costs as the delivery guys even carry my purchases right up to my kitchen for me! – Leanne Lea

When to shop

If possible, try getting out to the shops between 9pm and midnight. You’ll find that most of the mark-downs occur during this time. I sometimes pick up cooked chickens for $2 at Woolworths, and bread for 99c. There are many more items reduced – juice, cakes, cheeses and fresh meats. Find out the trading hours for the supermarkets in your area. – Belinda Hunt

Reduced goods

Check the use-by dates and get a mark-down. When shopping, I always check the dates thoroughly. If there are only a few days left, I ask an assistant for a mark-down due to the time limit. More often than not I receive a few dollars off, depending on the item. I have saved over 50% on organic milk which I have bought for 99c and put in the freezer until required! – Carmen Johnson

Impulse shopping

The best way to save is to only buy what you need. Walking into a shop with only a vague idea is the quickest way of falling victim to impulse buying. Retailers know that most people buy from habit or on impulse and market their goods to help you decide. Do not feel weak or stupid falling victim to impulse buying; they are very good at getting you to decide to purchase this way. Make a shopping list so all your buying decisions are made at home, away from their influence. – Michael Greene

Sometimes the corner shop is cheaper

I do a major grocery shop each fortnight to save money. However, if I went to the supermarket for bread and milk in-between times, I would sometimes spend $30, because I would see bargains or specials and return home with more than I planned. Now when I need bread and milk, I go to the local dairy. It may cost a little more there for those items, but I end up saving a lot more, because I only buy what I came for, instead of browsing supermarket shelves for things I don’t need. – Jenny Larsen

Don’t say “don’t”

By Jody Johnston Pawel

In all the years I have taught parenting classes, one skill has stood out as a four-star skill for gaining cooperation from children and preventing problems like power struggles and tantrums. I call it "Don’t say Don’t".

Have you ever said to your child "Don’t go in the street!" and they walk out in the street? or "Don’t fall!" and two seconds later they skin their knees? Why is it that children seem to do what we tell them not to do?

If you look at it from their perspective, it becomes clear: When I say "Don’t spill the milk", what image do you picture in your mind? Most people picture the milk spilling. Children are no different! An adult can take that image, figure out how the milk might spill, the options available to prevent this and choose the best alternative – all in a split second!

The younger a child is, the more difficult it is for a child to turn a "don’t" around. Children will usually enact the picture created in their minds. So, instead of telling your child what not to do, tell them what to do. Create the picture in their minds.

Say, "Keep the milk in the glass!". "Stay on the footpath (or grass)." and "Watch where your feet are!"

While this sounds simple, it can be far from easy to change our habit of saying "Don’t". We are so used to noticing what children do wrong that we have a hard time picturing what we want them to do right. Put your creativity and imagination to work and practice this skill often. Remember . . . "Don’t say Don’t!"

Jody Johnston Pawel is a licensed social worker who has more than fifteen years experience counseling parents from all walks of life. Reprinted by permission of Ambris Publishing, Springboro, OH

The effects of alcohol on sporting and academic performance

By Lea Stening, dietitian and nutritionist

Young people are consuming alcohol at a younger age than ever before, and it can be hard for parents to know how to handle the problem.

Despite the weight of peer pressure on children to drink alcohol, young people are body conscious, keen to succeed academically and to improve their sporting performance.

Here are some facts about alcohol that young people might like to consider:

What is alcohol?

Alcoholic drinks contain the drug ethanol alcohol or ethanol.

One unit of alcohol equals 300ml beer, 104ml glass of wine, or one single nip of spirit.

Amongst other side effects, alcohol impairs mood and judgment for up to 48 hours after ingestion.

The energy content of alcohol is 7 kilocalories per ml (oil is 9 kilocalories/ml), which explains why drinking alcohol can increase body weight.

What about tolerance?

Tolerance to alcohol depends on gender and body size.

Women have a lower tolerance than men because they carry less body water and have lower levels of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase that helps alcohol to digest. Heavy drinking for adults is defined as 21 units /week for men and 14units/week for women. However, young people, whose brains, livers and kidneys are still maturing, are likely to be affected by much lower doses, which may have long-term consequences.

Mental changes

Alcohol impairs time perception, reaction times, co-ordination, balance, accuracy, mood, judgment, temperature regulation, fine motor control and reflexes for up to 48 hours after ingestion.

Energy systems

Alcohol impairs anaerobic metabolism, slowing oxidative pathways, lowering muscle glycogen and blood glucose levels. These aerobic changes may decrease power, strength, speed, muscle endurance and heart function.

Functional changes within the body

Cardiovascular - alcohol can temporarily weaken left ventricular contraction of heart muscle.

Liver – clearing alcohol from the liver takes one hour to metabolise one unit of alcohol in adults. Excessive alcohol consumption over time can impair liver function, increasing fat (lipid) levels in the blood.

Kidneys – alcohol increases dehydration, thereby reducing energy circulation, body temperature control and performance.

Muscles- alcohol slows muscle recovery of stored energy (glycogen), increasing fatigue.

Body Repair – alcohol slows healing time and tissue repair, prolonging bleeding and deepening bruises when injury has been sustained.

Recommendations to parents

• Talk to your children about the facts and ill effects of alcohol while they are still young.
• Encourage children to be healthy, to care for their bodies, to value exercise and fitness.
• Build on your children’s talents and feelings of self-worth.
• Lead by example.

For more information visit: www.leastening.com

Excellence edge

Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge by Vicki Caruana

We can give our children an edge in life by teaching them ten basic skills or strategies. These strategies will help them grow into productive adults who live fulfilling lives and form lasting relationships. The best place for children to learn these principles is at home, where we adults are practicing them to enhance our own lives.

Here are the ten strategies that can help prepare our children for their future.

Produce quality work. Quality means doing more than was expected – above and beyond the call of duty.

Work independently. Learning to work independently doesn’t happen at school.

Think creatively. Creative thinkers know how to consider possible effects and outcomes.

Think critically. Teach a child how to tell the difference between the truth and a lie and he will be more successful in life.

Manage information efficiently. Obtaining useful information is an important skill. Organising information is equally vital.

Work cooperatively. In a family, we must work with the needs of others in mind.

Communicate effectively. Everyone suffers when the communication is faulty.

Lead with confidence. Anyone with more than one child knows that some are natural leaders and some are decided followers.

Manage time. How children learn to spend their time now influences how they spend their time in school and later as adults.

Assess yourself. What children believe is true about themselves is largely determined by what others think of them.

Most parents already possess and use many of these strategies, but there is always room for improvement. The best way to teach these values to your children is to model them. Begin by targeting one or two areas of concern at a time and have fun watching your child grow.

This article is excerpted from Vicki Caruana’s book Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge. Reprinted courtesy of Focus on the Family, New Zealand. For more information visit www.family.org.nz

Making the most of parent-teacher interviews

Parent-teacher interviews sometimes become a cause for concern for everyone involved – children, parents, and teachers. Children just beginning their school experience may be wary of the idea of parents and teachers talking about them behind closed doors. Parents may feel uncomfortable about going inside their child’s classroom, sitting in small chairs, and listening to reports of their child’s conduct and class work. Teachers, especially in their first years of teaching, may be uncertain about how to handle unhappy or critical parents. They may feel uneasy telling anxious parents about their children’s problems. Here are some parent-tested hints to help you have good meetings with the people who are educating your child.

Get to know teachers and other school people before interviews.

Keep in mind that most teachers like to meet parents as well as other family members. Be sure to tell the staff how to reach you, for example: “My spouse has a night shift, so use my cell phone number during the day.” Or, “I can come to school on Thursday mornings.”

Find out if the school programme has a list of activities for parents. Maybe you can do home learning activities or volunteer to help in a classroom from time to time.

Find out when the school has parent-teacher interviews. Then watch for the notes inviting you to make a time to meet with the teacher.

Make and keep your parent-teacher interview appointment.

Reply quickly when you get the note from school inviting you to an interview.

Find out ahead of time if it’s okay to take children to the interview

Be ready for a two-way conversation.

Expect the teacher to tell you many things about your child, and to show you samples of work that your child has done.

Expect the teacher to also ask for your ideas, suggestions, and concerns.

Make the most of the interview by asking questions.

In some cases, parent-teacher conferences may not be very informative, especially if the teacher reports that the child has no problems. Some parents may repeatedly hear that they “have nothing to worry about.” While this may sound reassuring, these parents may come away without the necessary information to help their children continue to make steady progress in school. When parents anticipate such an outcome from a conference, they may want to be prepared to ask some of the following questions:

1. What does my child do that surprises you? Very often this question can reveal to parents what expectations the teacher has for the child. Sometimes a child will behave quite differently at school than at home, so the parent may be surprised, as well.

2. What is my child reluctant to do? This question may reveal to the parents more about the child’s interests and dislikes than they would ordinarily know. The question may encourage the teacher to talk to the parent about the child’s academic and social preferences.

3. What is a goal you would like to see my child achieve? This question can serve as a springboard for parents and teachers to develop a plan to work together to help a child set and reach a specific outcome. Even well- behaved and high-achieving children may benefit from setting goals in areas that need improvement or in which they might excel.

4. What can I do at home to support what is being done at school? This question is always appreciated. Teachers may have suggestions for parents but may be afraid to offer unsolicited advice. The question helps create a team feeling.

Stay calm if the teacher feels that your child has some difficulties.

Keep in mind that most teachers would like to hear your ideas about what may be going on. The teacher may also ask you to suggest some ways to help your child.

Don’t feel that you are being blamed for any problem. Instead, let the teacher know you want to work with the staff to help things go well for your child.

Stress-free ways to stretch your money

The rising cost of groceries, fuel and electricity have hit family budgets hard. While we may not be back in the bad old depression days of our grandparents, many families are tightening their belts, watching their spending and discovering ways to make their hard-earned money stretch a little further.

Vegetable gardens have suddenly become trendy again as people realise home-grown produce tastes better, is unbeatable in freshness and virtually free. Add to that the fact that gardening’s a great stress-buster and you’ll wonder why you didn’t plant one sooner.

Another upside to the current economy is that more and more people are walking or getting out their bikes for short trips. It certainly saves money and has the added benefit of some invigorating exercise!

Family Times has put together a list of savings tips that will help your money stretch a whole lot further.

Fuel

How you use your car does make a difference according to www.fuelsaver.govt.nz. Here are some tips from their website that will keep that costly fuel in your tank for longer.

Slow down
Driving over the speed limit on the open road increases fuel costs by up to 10 percent.

Keep your load down
Carrying unnecessary weight in the vehicle increases fuel consumption, by around 2 percent for every 50 kg.

Think before you drive
Plan your journey and try to get everything done in one trip.

Avoid short trips
You use 20 percent more fuel driving when your engine is cold.

Drive smoothly
Make sure you accelerate smoothly.

Watch your air con
Air conditioning eats fuel, up to 10 percent more in fact.

Energy saving

There are simple actions you can take every day to use energy more efficiently.

Get started with these easy actions recommended by www.energywise.govt.nz:

• Switch it off – Turn appliances off at the wall instead of leaving them on standby, and remember to unplug mobile phone chargers. This could save you up to $100 a year.
  Choose when you use – Use your heated towel-rail for only a few hours per day. You can save $70-$140 a year by doing this.
• Check your hot water temperature at the tap – it should be at 55 degrees Celcius. An extra 10 degrees, for example, could cost you up to $140 a year.
  Close the curtains just before dark to keep the heat in.
  Use the wood burner –It’s generally cheaper heat than electricity.
• Stop draughts with a draught stopper.

Food

At Destitute Gourmet they have identified three main principals for eating well on less, they are: shop smart, eat healthily and in season, and make a little bit of luxury go a long way.
With those principles in mind, here are their 10 top tips [abridged]. For full listing visit www.destitutegourmet.com.

Keep an essentials list in the pantry. List everything the household needs to survive, not what they like, just what they need. Use this list when planning meals, shopping etc.

Try not to buy anything you can realistically make yourself – pasta sauces, biscuits, muffins…

Find a good local source of supply for fresh produce and meat – the supermarket does not always offer the best value.

Keep a price book – use an alphabetised address book to list the prices of everything you buy, then you can price out your weeks grocery shop and cost out meals.

Eat in season – seasonal produce is the cheapest, freshest and tastiest.

A bowl of soup before dinner is an inexpensive way to take the edge off the appetite while increasing consumption of our 5+ a day.

Add extra vegetables to recipes when you can, an extra potato, carrot and kumara in a favourite casserole will give you at least one extra serve.

Add cooked pulses – beans, chickpeas and lentils to your dishes; they are an inexpensive, low fat, high fibre, protein source and a great meal extender.

Make a little bit of a luxurious ingredient go a long way. A handful of berries or a drizzle of good quality olive oil can transform an everyday dish into something special.

Choose quality over quantity with meat and make it go a long way – two good quality sausages will flavour a whole delicious risotto, cassoulet or pasta sauce.

Own the obesity issue

by Bob McCoskrie, national director, Family First

“Children of authoritarian parents are six-times more likely to be overweight than the children of parents who mix freedom with clear rules.”

The recent survey published in the NZ Medical Journal shows that children are not eating enough bread, fruit and vegetables, but plenty of chips, muesli bars and sugar-based drinks.

And the blame game continues, from McDonalds to school tuck shops to TV advertising.

Should we blame parents? According to US research from the Boston University School of Medicine, children of authoritarian parents are six times more likely to be overweight than the children of parents who mix freedom with clear rules. The reasoning was that brow-beaten children turn to comfort eating as a means of escape. But the research also found that children of neglectful and permissive mothers were twice as likely to get fat.

Should we blame breast-feeding mothers? A longitudinal study of parents and children, supported by the UK Medical Research Council, found that bottle-fed babies who start eating solids early were more likely to become obese children. The researchers believe that breast-fed babies are good at regulating their milk intake in relation to their needs

Perhaps we could blame TV. University of Otago research published last year confirms that television viewing in childhood and adolescence is a significant predictor of being overweight. The lead researcher said: "The strength of the association we found with TV viewing was greater than that commonly found for the effects of nutritional intake and physical activity.”

An Auckland University of Technology researcher told us a year ago that children who stay up late may be packing on extra kilos because they get hungry and head to the kitchen on the way to bed. Kids who slept for less than 9.5 hours on week nights were twice as likely to be obese as those who slept for at least 11 hours.

And what about working mothers? The Joint Centre for Poverty Research (University of Chicago) released a working paper, Maternal Employment and Overweight Children, suggesting that mothers who work more hours per week are more likely than mothers who do not work, or who work fewer hours, to have overweight children.

But surely poverty has something to do with it? Families struggle to afford foods like vegetables, fruit and healthy breads. Pies, fizzy drinks and big packets of chips are only $1 each. Far better value!

And that is probably why Waikato District Health Board’s "Project Energize" found that kids were more than twice as likely to be obese at the age of 10 if they attended schools in the poorest three income deciles, than if they went to schools in the richest three deciles. Two out of every five 10-year-olds in the poorest schools were overweight. In the richest schools, only about one in every 20 was obese.

Then the Auckland City Council transport chairman said that local government had a lot to answer for by planning “obesogenic environments” – “fat cities” with few parks and recreational facilities, busy roads and narrow footpaths. Australian research shows a link between city planning and obesity.

English research from the University College London found that modern parent’s hands-on style may be doing their children’s health no favours as well. It highlighted the falling numbers of children in the United Kingdom walking to school – a major issue in New Zealand too.

Plenty of blame – what about a solution?

Perhaps Jennifer O’Dea, who is Senior Lecturer in Nutrition and Health Education at the University of Sydney, sums it up best in her article last year in Nutrition and Dietetics. She says: “Recent research suggests that parents are still considered by children and adolescents to be the gatekeepers of the family food supply and that parents act as important role models for children’s eating behaviours.”

She is right. There are plenty of factors contributing to obesity. There are plenty of possible solutions including bans, special taxes, legislation, and advertising campaigns.

But surely the ultimate way to promote healthy eating (and exercise and sleep patterns) is via parents? If parents believe in the benefits of healthy food, and are prepared to overcome factors such as cost, time in preparation, pressure from children, and lack of convenience, we will start to see progress.

For more information visit www.familyfirst.org.nz

When fear becomes phobia

By Dr John Waring

Most researchers agree that five percent of the population, or one person in every 20, has a fear so intense that it has become irrational and they avoid it at all costs.

What did you fear as a child? Was it the dark? Did goblins and monsters lurk under your bed – or were they more clever, only slithering out of your closet when the light clicked off? Did the growl of a dog send shivers down your spine and cause you to run in terror to the comfort of mum’s hug?

Fear is a very interesting emotion. A dictionary describes fear as: “a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread”.

Fear isn’t all bad, though. Fear plays a part in our very survival. Take for example our instinctual fear of snakes and spiders. On the whole it’s a pretty reasonable idea to fear snakes and spiders as many of them have the potential to do us considerable harm. Feeling scared and fearful can also be an exciting emotion that many people pay money to experience, judging by the success of horror movies. Our children like to be scared at times. The popularity of children’s books shows us that books that scare children do very well. The Goosebumps books are a good example.

Fear becomes a problem when it develops into a phobia. Phobias are persistent, irrational fears of certain objects or situations. A child or adult who has a phobia is often so overwhelmed by their anxiety that they go to great lengths to avoid the feared object or situation. There are various estimates of how many people have phobias, and most researchers agree the number is close to 5% of the population. That means that one person out of every 20 has a fear so intense that it has become irrational and they avoid it at all costs.

The impact of a phobia on a child’s life can be devastating. The anxiety that accompanies their phobia can restrict them across all areas of their life. Social phobia for example can be one of the toughest and most debilitating for children. Social phobia involves a strong and persistent fear of social performance situations in which the child is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The child fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be humiliating or embarrassing.

When the child is exposed to the feared social situation it almost invariably provokes anxiety. Indeed, the thought of having to engage in the social situation that they fear can and usually does provoke an anticipatory anxiety reaction. In children this can be seen as crying fits, oppositional behaviour such as stating, “I’m not going to soccer practice and you can’t make me!” or temper outbursts. In addition, children will sometimes “freeze” or shrink away from unfamiliar people.

In summary, it seems that sometimes we enjoy being scared but if that fear develops into an irrational fear that won’t go away and you or your child start to avoid situations that provoke the fear, then a phobia may have developed. The good news is that there are a number of different psychological treatments for fears and phobias that can be very successful. See your family doctor for more information.